(...Should I sniff her butt? Will she mind if I sniff her butt? What will it say about me if I sniff his butt? Maybe I’m gay? Should I question sniffing butts so much? Do other dogs sniff as many butts as I do? How many butts have I sniffed this week? I’m guessing it’s a lot if I’m questioning it so much. I love sniffing butts. I need to sniff one right now. There aren’t any around. I have to get a hold of myself. Who am I kidding? I need a butt and I need it now. Now. Good god. Am I living a life that’s guided by butt sniffing? I am. My parent’s warned me. I didn’t listen. Like a cheap tramp. A whore. I’m a butt-sniffing whore. What if I tried to cut down? Nothing heavy. Just a few sniffs a day. I can do that. I know I can. I’ve done it before. But do I really want to? I mean, that’s what we do. We sniff butts. No one looks down on me for it. There was that guy who gave me a look while I was in mid-sniff. Who is he to judge me for sniffing a butt? Maybe I’m just being paranoid. I get like that when I haven’t sniffed a butt. I’ll stop cold turkey. But not now. The fever’s too strong. A wiff will get me through the night. Just one, heartfelt inhale of the poodle across the street and I’ll be satisfied. I love how she resists at first and then sticks it out with reckless abandon. What a slut. Wait. Why is she a slut? I’m the one going in there. That coy little look she gives me when she walks down the street. Oh, I’m sniffing that butt. Count on it....)
Zoe: (....and while the world is possibly a better place, you've managed to make us nauseated !!!...)
via Timmy Dog Spa: Butt
